


Timing Memories

by hanekawa



Category: Kamen Rider Den-O
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-16
Updated: 2010-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanekawa/pseuds/hanekawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryoutaro learned what it meant to be a singularity point the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Timing Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before ep.20, before Sakurai the younger was revealed, so this went AU around that ep.

1.

Ryoutaro met Sakurai Yuuto for the first time on a windy day in autumn, when the wind was blowing hard and leaves falling in every corner. His first impression of the man was that he was a polite man with a disarming smile and sincere look, although he was a little clumsy. He also seemed to love Nee-san a lot, and he didn’t make Ryoutaro feel awkward in his presence, nor forget he was there, like a few of Nee-san’s acquaintances did.

Ryoutaro liked him on the first sight.

 

 

 

2.

A month before their wedding day, Sakurai Yuuto disappeared without a trace, leaving only a clock given to him by Airi Nee-san with the words _the past gives us hope_ scribbled on the back. No one knew where he went, and he just disappeared.

 

 

 

11.

They were standing on the lake shore, with sakura petals falling around them and the water surface glistening behind them. The wind blew softly, but they barely felt it.

Airi was there because she was trying to find him, and this was where the last time he was seen.

He was there because he _knew_ she’d be there.

Airi was standing across him in a white dress, her delicate fingers clenched into fists on her sides. She was looking at him with such a heartbreaking expression that he wanted to kill himself for causing it, even if at the same time, he also thought she had never looked so beautiful, so untouchable before.

“Why?” She asked, her voice strong, even though he could see tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to fall any seconds.

“Because this is the right thing to do.” He told her. His voice didn’t shake, and he sounded so distant even to his own ears.

She laughed.

He blinked.

She was laughing so hard she had to hunch over and clutch her stomach, before falling on her knees to support herself. But her laugh sounded so bitter and hollow, so empty, as if she was mocking herself, as if she laughed just for the hell of it because she didn’t know what else to do. It was probably worse than if she just angrily shouted or slapped him or cried, and he inwardly winced.

“Airi…” He called softly, keeping the worry out of his voice.

When the laugh died down, she was slightly out of breath, and when she looked up, her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“Ne, Yuuto-kun, were you lying to me all this time?” She asked in a casual tone, like she actually didn’t really care what the answer would be and only asked out of politeness, and her face--betrayed nothing. But the way she delivered the question was as if she was actually expecting him to say _yes, it was a lie all along._

He stepped forward toward her and stopped when there were only two steps separating them. He tucked his hands into his jacket pockets, just so he could stop himself from reaching out and taking her into his arms. He can do this. He had to. She looked at him with steady gaze, and he looked back at her.

“I wasn’t lying,” He began. “I never lie to you, even now. It’s true that I didn’t tell you the whole truth, but at least I didn’t lie to you. Never. It just… it’s complicated, and you wouldn’t understand. All you have to do is believe me when I say that—that this is for the best and. And I’ve never meant to hurt you.”

“Then make me,” She muttered softly, turning her head to the side and not looking at him.

“…what?”

“Make me understand. Don’t you trust me?” her voice wavered, a bit of frustration leaking through.

He looked around, and saw Deneb making his way towards them from behind Airi silently.

“But that’s the problem. I can’t seem to stop trusting you, or thinking about you, or wanting to see you, and it’s bad.” He whispered, barely audible, and Airi looked up, her expression one of a surprised one.

“What do you mean?” She asked carefully, genuinely curious, and he definitely didn’t miss the way her face lit up with blossoming hope.

It was too late to take back what he had said. Might as well go on all out, he decided.

“Airi,” _Nee-san_ , he added in his mind, dropping to his knees, so he was on eye level with her. “Airi, you’re everything to me. You’re the only person I know for my whole life; you’re my past, my present, and my future; although apparently I’m not a part of your future.” He said softly, his gaze never leaving hers, a serene smile on his lips.

“Yuuto…?” Airi called hesitantly. She looked really worried. “Yuuto-kun, are you okay? What are you talking about?”

Her small fingers reaching out to touch his face, and his self-restrain snapped. Without thinking he brought his arms around her, enveloping her in a tight embrace. He heard a yelped of surprise from her before she slowly, hesitantly, put her arms around him too.

“Yuuto-kun…”

“Ne, Airi, it’s okay for you to cry, you know. I’ve been knowing you whole my life, but never did I ever see you cry. You’re always there, smiling for me, and I don’t think it’s fair for you.” He paused. He was talking too much. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Deneb coming closer to them, and he let out a small ironic smile before tightening his embrace around her. She wouldn’t remember anyway. “Sometimes, it’s okay to let out what you feel and just cry you know. You don’t have to be that strong. Sometimes it’s okay to just rely on others and let them take care of you.”

She pulled away slightly from him and looked straight at him, confusion written all over her face. And she even looked more concerned than before. Right. He seemed to always make her worry, even now. “Yuuto, you don’t make any sense. Besides, it’s only been two years ago since I met you for the first time.”

He only smiled at her. “Airi, I love you.” He whispered.

“Then don’t leave.” She said in a small voice.

His smile didn’t falter, and it only got even sadder than before. “I’m sorry.”

Deneb was standing behind Airi, and he made eye contact with him to wait just a little longer.

She frowned. “…for what?”

“For having to do this. Good bye, Nee-san.” And before she could uttered a word out, he leaned forward, his lips met hers in the barest touch possible, his breath whispering _forget me_ to her mouth, and he could see the moment his words sunk in as if in slow motion as her eyes slowly widened and she screamed—the expression on her face and the echo of her scream forever engraved in his mind.

He gave a small nod to Deneb, and the Imagin put his palm on Airi’s temple for a split second before she collapsed in his arms. “The wish is granted, thus the contract is complete.” Deneb said, bowing to him.

A few moments passed, and yet he didn’t feel like letting go.

“Ryoutaro, the other Ryoutaro would be here soon.” Deneb said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I know.” Reluctantly, he laid her gently on the ground, and with a last look at her form, he got in Den-Liner that had appeared before him with Deneb, and a few seconds later the train disappeared from sight.

The tears did fall then, but he wasn’t around to witness it.

 

 

 

3.

A singularity point.

He was a singularity point. A point to mark a time, an era. An only witness that would be aware if something had been altered by imagins in the past.

Just like Hana.

When Hana said that she came from an erased time, a time that didn’t exist anymore, Ryoutaro thought about apocalypse or the end of the world or the earth went ‘BOOM’ or something drastic like that, and that Hana was the only survivor left.

He never knew it was actually much, much worse.

It didn’t matter whether you were actually dead or not, because when you were dead, as long as there was still a person who remembered you, then you would keep living in that person’s memory. The same would apply when you actually lived, but no one remembered or recognized you, then you were as good as dead.

A singularity point.

It was obvious what it really meant from its title. He wondered why he never noticed it before.

Singularity. Singular. Single. One. Alone.

Someone who was a singularity point was bound to be lonely, to be alone, because they were the only one who knew what really happened and what had been altered between the past and the present. A singularity point was someone who had a duty to protect the flow of time, no matter what the cost, and not necessarily to protect people. It was different.

When Hana said that she came from an erased time, she meant that she was the only one who remembered what really happened, that an Imagin had succeed in altering something in the past that causing the change in the future. She didn’t mean that her parents had died and that she was alone with no relatives. She meant that no one, no one remembered her, even though she recognized everything. It meant that Hana actually had never been born, never existed. A world that didn’t recognize its singularity point meant that that world no longer existed, and it was entirely a new time, a new era, a new world right now.

Ryoutaro had never realized what it really meant to be a singularity point until it was too late.

He also never thought that he was actually the one who—

He was the one who destroyed Hana’s timeline.

 

 

 

12.

The dinner compartment in Den-Liner was silent.

There was no sound whatsoever, even though four Imagins and three people were currently present there. Even Ryuutaros that usually always harassing the others didn’t make any noises or movements and just sprawled lazily on one of the benches. Kintaros was in his usual pose, like he was actually asleep, but with Kintaros, you’d never really know. Urataros seemed to be peacefully sipping his coffee, although every once and then he sent surreptitious glances in Ryourato’s direction. Momotaros kept fidgeting in his seat and never seemed to be able to stay still. He also kept making abrupt movements like he was going to leap out of his seat and go to Ryoutaro’s, but in the last second before he parted with his seat, he only sighed and sat back down.

The owner quietly enjoyed his flagged pudding, and Naomi stood beside him, while Ryoutaro just stared out of the window blankly.

A second later, the flag fell down, and the silence was broken by the owner’s usual gasp and followed by Naomi’s usual cheer. Then he put his napkin down and straightened himself before speaking in his usual disinterested manner. “Ryoutaro-kun,” He called, and Ryoutaro turned to look at him, “I believe the matter with your sister is settled then?”

“Yes.” Ryoutaro nodded.

“And Deneb is…?”

“I’ve sent him away with Zero-Liner.”

“Good. Then everything is back in place, no? Although I must say that this is such an unexpected turn of event.” The owner stated, walking away to go out of the compartment, making a hand gesture to them to leave on his way out, followed closely by Naomi who cried “Ganbatte ne!” to Ryoutaro in her cheerful tone before she was also out of sight. One by one the Imagins followed suit until Ryoutaro and Momotaros were the only ones left.

Momotaros reluctantly stood up and went over to Ryoutaro. “Oi, Ryoutaro,” He called grumpily, and Ryoutaro looked up at him inquiringly. “Are you okay/” He spat out quickly—like he was afraid someone might hear him, like he was doing his best to appear like he didn’t care.

Ryoutaro smiled. “I’m okay. Or at least I will be.” And he meant it.

“You’d better be,” Momotaros said darkly. “Or else you’d be too distracted to fight Imagins.”

Ryoutaro only smiled in response, and Momotaros reluctantly stepped out, leaving Ryoutaro to his own thoughts.

Ryoutaro closed his eyes, trying not to think.

 

 

 

10.

Aging was really a terrifying thing.

How someone can be dead just because he was aging, because his time was up.

How someone’s appearance could change just because he was aging. His body shape, his personality.

How aging seemed to make the world change.

How five years of aging could make even the closest one to you to not recognize you.

That was what Ryoutaro thought when he was standing in front of his Airi Nee-san, and the first thing that she said to him with a smile was, “Welcome! Eh, have we ever met before? Somehow you look familiar…” She trailed off.

With difficulty, he tried to remember how to breathe properly, while his chest threatened to squeeze him from the inside.

“We might have, somewhere, sometime.” He offered with a smile, and added but definitely not in this time in his thought.

She smiled back. “What’s your name?” She asked.

“Yuuto,” Ryoutaro replied, when all he wanted was to just whine to her _Onee-san, I’m Ryoutaro! How come you didn’t recognize your own brother?_ “Sakurai Yuuto.”

That was how Nogami Airi met Sakurai Yuuto for the first time.

 

 

 

4.

It all started after Yuuto spent all his Henshin Cards and accidentally got hurt by an Imagin. He was dying, and Deneb told Ryoutaro everything about Sakurai Yuuto after Ryoutaro insisted that Yuuto wouldn’t die, because Yuuto would be his Onee-san’s fiancé once he grew up.

It wasn’t the real Sakurai Yuuto that came to Airi and later became her fiancé. It was someone else. But Deneb didn’t tell him about that specific detail. He didn’t tell him who that Sakurai Yuuto was. He only told him to wait, that everything would eventually reveale itself in due time, and Ryoutaro could only watched helplessly as Deneb’s body slowly turned to dust, due to Yuuto’s life that also slowly faded away.

What Ryoutaro didn’t understand was why Deneb said he was forever grateful to him for granting him his wishes, when Ryoutaro didn’t feel like he had done something for him.

That time, Ryoutaro officially became the owner of Zero-Liner.

 

 

 

5.

He only intended to help people. He had never meant to cause so much commotion. He never thought his action to save some couple’s marriage by giving the lost ring back to the bride after he defeated the Imagin was going to change the future greatly.

He especially didn’t realize that he unintentionally had just erased a time from the history, causing the singularity point of said erased time to lose everything, including a place to go back.

Hana didn’t say anything after this revelation.

No one said anything, even Urataros. No one looked at him, even the owner.

Before, they only knew that Hana’s time was erased due to some Imagin’s doing. They never knew the imagin was only a little part of it all, and the real cause was something so simple and innocent it wouldn’t even crossed their mind.

Hana just looked at him blankly, her expression unreadable before turning on her heels and left.

Her silence was deafening, and it was worse than if she just killed him right then and there. And no matter how much he apologized, it wouldn’t be able to change anything.

It was the first piece of puzzle of the big picture.

 

 

 

6.

Once upon a time in the future, Ryoutaro had the fifth Imagin possessed him.

His name was Deneb. He got along well with Momotaros-tachi, and he didn’t seem to know them all even thought they had met in the past, so Ryoutaro just asked the rest of them to act like they were actually just met.

And then, some time later, Ryoutaro made a contract with him.

 

 

 

8.

There was a price for everything.

That was the basic rule of the world.

Ryoutaro tried to make it up to Hana, to make the erased world continue to exist.

With Zero-Liner and a full access of Den-Liner that the owner granted him after many times of persuading, he went back and forth between the past, the present and the future, trying to match the timing of events and what went wrong between them.

Sometimes, he watched his younger self fighting Imagins. He didn’t give himself away and just left when he felt the timing matched.

After about a year, he was able to give Hana her world back, with his own world and her status as a singularity point as the price.

Now, he was the one alone, the one without a place to go back to, although it was only because he chose to erase his own existence for Hana’s.

He thought it was only fair, after everything he had been causing.

 

 

7.

In 2010, Nogami Ryoutaro disappeared without a trace, and Airi’s smile was never the same again.

Although if one asked her, she would never be able to answer _who_ Nogami Ryoutaro was.

 

 

 

9.

Since Hana was no longer a singularity point nor she had a ticket, the owner didn’t give her any access to Den-Liner. So it was only Naomi, Ryoutaro and Momotaros-tachi that frequented the dinner compartment.

Naomi was kind and cheerful and everything, but she wasn’t Hana, and Ryoutaro missed her, and couldn’t help feeling lonely even though Momotaros-tachi were always there.

Lonely.

Ryoutaro felt like he might know now how Hana must have felt when there were only her and Naomi here. Lonely. It was eating him alive day by day, and he felt he grew colder inside every passing days, grew more distant to Momotaros-tachi as he was now able to control his mind fully and could shut his mind securely that even Ryuutaros wasn’t able to break his walls.

He was lonely.

But he didn’t know why—aside when he was fighting Imagin—he kept shutting everyone out even when he actually felt lonely.

 _Nee-san,_ he called, knowing no one would answer, and still, the silence that answered him had never been that frightening. _Nee-san._

He missed her. He missed her more than he missed Hana, more than he missed Momotaros-tachi’s banter that he no longer heard in his head. He missed her fussing over him, missed hearing her voice, seeing her smile. He missed her more than everything else.

He left the train.

 

 

 

 

 

fin 


End file.
